We often hear phrases like ‘Everything happens for a reason’ or ‘just stay positive.’ Although they appear positive, in actuality they might do more damage than good. This is the best example of avoiding toxic positivity, which is all about understanding that not every situation needs false positivity. We ignore true emotions and cause individuals to feel rejected or even ashamed of their struggles when we pressure ourselves or other people to stay positive despite challenges. Instead of ignoring difficult emotions, they need to be accepted and supported, so they do not feel left out.

What is toxic positivity?

Toxic positivity promotes the belief that bad feelings must be silenced or ignored in favour of forced happiness. Although optimism is beneficial, ignoring true emotions keeps individuals from facing challenges positively, which can really affect their well-being.

Signs of toxic positivity:

• Trying to ignore problems rather than facing them

• Feeling guilty for being angry or depressed

• Always pretending to look happy while hiding emotions

• Speaking positively while ignoring the problems of others

Why Is Toxic Positivity Harmful?

We all think that ignoring emotions will make them go away, but it’s not like that, it makes them even more worse. Forcing positivity can:

• Ignore feelings: It implies that difficulties are not a big deal

• Cause guilt and shame: People usually feel guilty and ashamed for having emotions which are natural

• Prevent healing: Growth and self-awareness are slowed down when emotions are ignored.

• Damage relationships: People may distance themselves from strong connections when they believe they can’t speak openly

As we all know phrases like “good vibes only” are common to hear as if it is wrong to feel any other emotion. Yes, sharing positive energy is great, no doubt, but such an attitude might sometimes silence serious talks of true struggles and also affect an individual’s mental peace. Understanding that true well-being comes from accepting ourselves to feel all kinds of emotions and not only the good ones, is the first step in avoiding toxic positivity and loving yourself.

Toxic positivity vs Healthy optimism

Healthy optimism, in contrast to toxic positivity, accepts difficulties while staying hopeful. It’s about accepting both the positive and the negative, not about forcing a good vibes-only mentality. Saying something like ‘I know this is not easy, but I am here to support you’, could be a better way to offer support instead of telling them to just be happy. In this way, they can be open about their struggles and can overcome them in a healthy manner. When offering support, true optimism welcomes real feelings.

How to avoid toxic positivity

• Accept that negative feelings are a natural part of life and that it’s okay to not be okay

• Provide genuine support by truly hearing and understanding someone’s feelings rather than ignoring their difficulties

• Encourage open talks because sometimes all someone needs is to be heard

• Talking to a trusted friend, journaling and therapy can all be beneficial

• Always be careful when using social media, and stay away from the exaggerated depictions of never-ending joy

Final thoughts

Although toxic positivity may seem harmless, it often makes things worse. Allow yourself and others to experience all kinds of human emotions, and focus on avoiding toxic positivity by accepting your true feelings instead of forcing happiness. You should always keep in mind that true positivity is not about ignoring problems, it comes from understanding, support, and real emotional connections. When we create space for all feelings, both the good and the difficult, we build healthier relationships and a true feeling of well-being.