My initiation into therapy was spurred by a shattered heart. Lost in sadness and hurt, I drifted through life, struggling to comprehend the profound changes it had undergone. It was during a conversation with my acting coach that I was introduced to Susan Shilling, a psychotherapist specialising in counselling artists and creatives.

Susan delved into my life’s experiences, dissecting the parts that worked well and those that didn’t. Through our sessions, we explored the profound benefits of therapy, unravelling the intricate storylines that shape our perceptions.

“As human beings, we carry storylines from our past experiences, shaping how we see the world,” Susan explained. “Within each of us, there’s an underground river of information—the primordial soup of our consciousness.” Therapy, she highlighted, allows us to explore what lies beneath the surface, preventing old experiences from weaving narratives that aren’t present in current relationships.

The fundamental advantage of therapy lies in gaining insight into why we do what we do. By understanding how our perceptions were moulded, we acquire the tools to make different choices, breaking free from repetitive patterns that lead to the same outcomes.

“A lot of us try to redecorate the house without addressing its foundation,” Susan aptly put it. Going deeper requires bravery, as it entails confronting aspects we’ve blocked and not dealt with, fostering empathy and compassion for ourselves.

In my own therapeutic journey, I uncovered past traumas that clouded my judgment. Addressing childhood experiences, including the molestation I endured, allowed me to grasp the impact on my emotional well-being. Therapy provided me with insights into my own patterns, enabling me to pause in moments of confusion and distinguish between present feelings and past projections.

Family relationships, particularly with my father and mother, revealed layers of pain and insecurity. Therapy helped me care for my inner child, addressing deep-seated fears that shaped my adult self. It unveiled insecurities stemming from my mother’s remarriage when I was eight, offering clarity on lingering emotions that influenced my relationships.

Susan’s guidance allowed me to see myself as a work in progress, recognizing when my eight-year-old self influenced my adult interactions. Professional insight, distinct from sharing with friends and family, proved essential in fostering self-deserving and self-worth.

Acknowledging and exploring my darkness with professional support equipped me with the tools to approach situations with clearer eyes, stepping out of darkness into light. Therapy, I learned, is like opening a window in a closed-up room—allowing the sun and breeze to wash through, bringing healing and self-discovery.

If there’s anything you need to process, therapy can be the key to understanding yourself and expressing yourself more openly—an opportunity to let the sun and breeze into your closed-up room.